


The Balm for Bad Memories

by randers1



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Upstead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24219247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randers1/pseuds/randers1
Summary: How Hailey knew Kelly Tyler. Oneshot.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 14
Kudos: 64





	The Balm for Bad Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Dick Wolf owns the characters. I only own the errors.

“You have _got_ to be kidding me!” The exclamation from the break room could be heard clearly in the bullpen. Eyes darted all around with the team members looking to each other, wondering what had prompted it. Within a minute they landed on Jay, all knowing it was on him to find out. 

He cautiously stood, rolling his chair backward as he did and gave a cursory look to Adam and Kevin who were watching him. He passed by Kim and Vanessa who were doing their best not to jump ahead of him and get to the break room first.

“I got it,” he told them quietly as he passed.

_“Son of a bitch!”_

As he got closer he heard the rip of paper and was nearly run over by an obviously angry and upset Hailey. “Hey,” he said, while under the eyes of the bullpen he quickly held her arm and pulled her back inside the room. “What’s going on?”

Hailey’s eyes were wild as they refused to let tears spill and she was trying to control the breaths that were coming fast and deep. “Sorry,” she huffed. “Doesn’t matter.” She gave him a tight and not remotely genuine smile, then stalked out of the room, heading left.

“Hailey,” he’d started but she was already gone. The bulletin board of papers caught his eye—updated announcements, printed memos, and reminders hung. No one really paid attention to them since the important ones were sent electronically. But a scrap of paper was left dangling while the rest was nowhere to be seen. Jay went to the trash can, and looked for the missing piece. The crumpled ball of paper sitting at the top was the likeliest and he grabbed and opened it.

_Kelly Tyler Memorial Banquet and Fundraiser_

_Join us to remember a fallen hero._

_Proceeds benefit.._

Jay stopped reading and tossed the paper back in the can while his brain raced to place the name. Kelly Tyler. The name quickly clicked in to place along with its connection to Darius Walker. Shit. He ran a hand over his face and followed Hailey’s path. She wasn’t in the locker room and the interview rooms were all empty. He took the back stairs down to the basement and found her sitting on the floor of the cage at the far side of the room, her back against one of the wire walls.

“Hailey?” he said her name as he approached.

She hid behind her hand over her forehead and eyes, before pushing it up to run a hand through her hair. She exhaled deeply as he came to a stop at the opened metal meshed door.

“I’m not gonna ask if you’re okay,” he told her. “But I _am_ here.”

She didn’t say anything, continuing to avert her eyes, and sniffled a bit.

Jay leaned forward, sliding his hands through the openings and held on to the wire. “I saw the announcement about Tyler.” He said softly.

She snorted. “A fallen hero,” she spat bitterly. “What a joke.”

Jay blinked for a moment while deciding his next move. He gave in to instinct rather than logic and moved inside the cage, sliding his back down the wire wall until he sat beside Hailey, hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder.

“He was a connection to Darius Walker,” Jay began, knowing this was a touchy subject. “And we know he was dirty, but none of that’s new. Crawford and Voight were both upfront about how Tyler, Packer, and Gibbs were gonna be remembered…” he led, trying to figure out what had her so disturbed. They were the only ones that knew the truth about that group while the city lauded them as fallen heroes. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t leave a bitter taste in his mouth. But again, the fact that the department was holding a fundraiser in Tyler’s name was worthy of an eye-roll, but not necessarily the state it had sent Hailey, who was normally rock steady, in to.

Hailey crossed an arm across her chest and used it prop an elbow, her hand covering her mouth.

“Talk to me,” Jay whispered.

She waited a moment before speaking, giving herself over to the unwavering trust she had in him. Hailey took a deep breath. “We were at the academy together.”

Jay nodded, remembering her saying something about that the day at the bus station. The day she called off the bust before it even started. “Yeah…what’d you say…he asked you out?”

“Mmm,” she hummed, nodding curtly. “Asked, demanded, all the same to him.”

“Sounds like ‘no’ didn’t go over so well.” He began to get a sense of the situation.

Hailey found herself calming as she began to talk, crediting her newfound steadiness to the solid and warm wall of her partner beside her. She gave a small chuckle. “At first I didn’t think it was a big deal. He asked me out for dinner and drinks.” She huffed out a “Hm,” before continuing. “ _Told_ me we were going really. I wasn’t interested, even causally. He pushed it a little bit but he let it go.” She shrugged. “But then he got…dark. Really competitive, angry…with me. Didn’t matter where—classroom, gun range, hand to hand. It was ugly.” She shook her head. “Like it was some sort of personal thing against me—or a mark against him or…I don’t know.”

She remembered the combat fight techniques class they were in and they were partnered as opponents. She’d worked her moves effectively but he’d come at her savagely and dirty. She ended up with a black eye, a bruised rib, a bloody nose and a cut lip before anyone could intervene, while Tyler was written up by the instructor for unnecessary aggression. 

She shared that memory with Jay as well as a few other incidents before getting to the biggest part. The part that still made parts of her cringe and feel dirty.

She’d gotten back to her room after a run and was planning on a hot shower, some last-minute reading over notes before an exam the next day, and going to bed early. The door had just closed behind her when she felt an arm pull tight around her throat, immediately blocking air from her windpipe. She fought back, all instincts kicking in, but the intruder had gotten the jump. Blackness edged around her vision as she felt the other hand begin to grope her roughly. She was pushed down to the floor and a weight was on her knees while her shorts were pulled down, one arm still putting pressure against her throat. Her sports bra and CPD recruit shirt were pushed up, while teeth left marks on her skin, and rough fingers pushed, pinched, and dug into her as she squirmed. It felt like both forever and a second before the movements stopped. The pressure against her throat eased up a bit as she tried to catch a breath. Her vision began to clear and she squinted at the face leering above her.

“Next time be nice and say yes. Would’ve been so much better than this.” Kelly Tyler hissed before jumping up. “Just remember what I _could’ve_ done here. Ungrateful bitch.” She heard the door click shut as she rolled over on to her side and sobbed.

Jay sat beside her, unmoving, as she’d spoken, and now there was silence. 

“Hailey,” Jay said her name in the way that made her shiver even in a situation like this, and snaked an arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him. “Jesus,” he whispered.

She closed her eyes and leaned against him, her head against his shoulder.

“Bastard's lucky he's dead…” Jay murmured.

Hailey sighed. “It was a long time ago. And it’s not something I ever think about,--but seeing that announcement, knowing the kind of person he was and that he’s still being _celebrated_ …” she trailed off. “I was just….caught off guard I guess.”

“Yeah I hear that.” Jay replied quietly, as he began to absentmindedly stroke Hailey’s arm as he held her to his side. He knew he couldn’t necessarily help her with this, make it better per se, couldn’t take it away, but he could be here for her now. Remind her of that and what she could expect from him. Jay traded the rage he’d felt against that asshole for the choice to comfort the woman beside him. Tyler was dead in the ground while she was warm, and alive, and with him.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered into her hair. “Always. Don't forget that.” He felt the vibration of her hum against him and they sat together like that for a few minutes in an easy silence.

He felt her take a deep breath, hoped it was cleansing, and he spoke again, with nothing but sincerity in his voice. “You good?”

Hailey swallowed then nodded. “I am.” she assured him, looking up at him. “Really.” And she was. Sharing that part of her with him had calmed her pain, smoothed it over so that the sharp edges softened. “Totally fine, honest.” She wiped away the last of the wetness from her eyes.

“You sure?” Jay knew she could ‘I’m fine’ with the best of them.

She chuckled quietly. “Don’t believe me?” She tilted her head to him, her smartass coming back. “Your place after work--And I’ll show you.” She taunted, then grinned, full out.

He cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah?” a smirk spreading over his face. “Is this gonna be like the last time you showed me you were ‘fine’?”

Her smirk outshone his even while she tried to contain it, and the blush rose on her cheeks as she affirmed, “Oh yeah.”

He turned a bit and leaned over, getting close to her. “Hm, I may need some extra convincing.”

She chuckled. “I think I can manage that,” she murmured, closing the distance and meeting his lips.

They kissed, mindful that they were at work, but also of the fact that they were alone in a room with no eyes or ears. Jay’s hand went to back of Hailey’s neck while hers found a spot against his jaw.

They missed the footsteps coming down the stairs but did hear the throat clear, and broke away gently. Jay wiped at his lip with a finger as his eyes left Hailey and went to the figure standing by the stairwell.

Adam cautiously stepped forward. “Uhh, hey guys, check your phones. We caught a case.”

“Got it,” Jay answered as Adam turned and headed back up, taking the stairs two at a time.

“To be continued?” He smiled as he forced himself up to a standing position and reached a hand for Hailey.

She took it and he pulled her up. “You bet your ass,” she quipped.


End file.
